Thanksgiving is holidayically ambiguous.

So I was writing this blog and it ended up going in a very cynical direction... You just get the beginning snippet: (Wha? Spell checker didn't cite 'Snippet'? Since when was that a real word!?)

-As Thanksgiving was in full tilt and everyone was having happy fun times I was glancing at the Christmas tree, listening to some Bing Crosby Christmas record, and feeling generally cheery. I then was about to think to myself "Aah, the feeling of Christmas spirit is a nice one." I was just all full of Christmassy goodness when I thought to myself: "Hold a hard minute, It's thanksgiving."
Thanksgiving has identity issues.-

That's all for that one. The rest of the blog was full of satire, commentary, and some pretty good similes but it had to go.

My dog is insane, I saw him over the break. It's like he's my divorce child and I can only see him every four months.

Funniest thing of Thanksgiving; My dad invited two of his work buddies and families to thanksgiving. Both families were foreign, one from India and the other from China. The Indian family included the mothers parents, two very Indian 50+ year olds. My dear brother David introduced a game called 'Amoebas' which he had crafted during the long cold nights of a volunteer orphanage in Russia. The game consisted of this: Two or more groups, one group leaves the room and conceives a scene from history or pretty much anything else to reenact while involving at least some of the rest of the group, the rest of the group has to figure out what the scene is, hilarity ensues.

My group was first and we enacted 'And then there were none'.
The guts of this tangent lie in the retelling of the scene enacted by the group with the 50+ year old Indian man (Keeping in mind his English, although functional, isn't incredible). They decided to reenact the sinking of the titanic. Some people played a meloncholy tune on air violins, one steered the ship, and some were guests.

All of the sudden the man ( ): I can't remember his name) gets wide eyed and shouts with a thick Indian accent: "WE ARE IN TROUBLE!" The ship sank and everyone got it but we laughed for a while.

I should be doing a research paper. "The Evolution of English Government" Seemed like a good topic at the time still is.

That reminds me of a DJ I heard talking about the song: '25 or 6 to 4' which seems to have no meaning. Apparently the song was written about 25 or 26 minutes to 4 o'clock in the morning. The DJ said "This song is about nothing else other than trying to write a song, and for those of you that can think of another meaning..." (I expected him to say 'can call in and tell me') "Well, you're wrong."

It was funny at the time...

I want to see 2001: Space Odyssey again.

-(P)

Humans are elitists.

Why are humans called humans and everything else is called an animal? We're all from the same kingdom; Animal. Humans are animals, but animals are only animals. With this reasoning we can conclude that animals are humans...But wait, That's not true.

Humans are classified in this way:
Kingdom: Animalia (a stupid way of saying animal)
Phylum: Chordata (having a hollow nerve chord)
Subphylum: Vertebrata (having vertebrae)
Class: Mammalia (MAMMALS, FOO')
etc. etc.
all the way to Homo sapien.

But most of the time when were talking about everything else that isn't a plant or a rock or something else inanimate all the classification we get around to is:
Kingom: Animalia.

That's seven steps of specificity that these organisms aren't allotted! Do they not deserve that distinction? Sure we're further along the evolutionary scale than them but that's nothing that you and I did. I know I can't take credit for fingers...Although I did hear Steve down the street took care of toenails for us...

Even the name 'Homo Sapien' means 'Wise'. No one who knew anything special named us that. We're just named that because that's what we think we are. That's really like changing your name to 'Awesome' when you're like 23 because you think you're rad.

...But, alas, what is to be done. I wish someone like Kanye West had worked up this system, then we'd be called something pimp like 'Homie Cappien Gangstarilius'.

-(P)

September 11th, It's what's happening.

So a few days ago was September 11th.

While in school there was no mention to the significance of this day outside of a rogue history teacher who talked about it a bit. Hmm... I though. How completely out of order. SO, after half a day of nothing me and a good friend approached the Starr and said: "WTBH?! This is important. What are you going to do by school end?"
The Starr said,"Well, seckasaa secka secka secka saa. I'll try to talk to some administrators."
I responded:"YOU ARE THE ADMINISTRATOR."
He replied,"Don't talk to me in that tone of voice young man."
To that I punched him in his relatively large stomach and ran.

Nothing was announced for the rest of the day. One of his excuses was that "We mention the victims of 9/11 on veterans day {then, essentially} so then everyone can feel sad about everybody all in one day."

...I'm glad we've learned to be efficient in our dealings with sadness; Don't feel sad for a long time, that's silly. Save up all your mourning grief for one or two days throughout the year so we can keep up productivity or whatever.

Positive humanity is fighting a losing battle.

-(P)

I was punched in the face by an ant.

I woke up this morning to discover a very small wound on my forehead. It wasn't a zit, but was about the size of one. I wondered how this came to be.

The only conclusion I could come to was that I had accidentally stepped on some ants. Witnessing this act was this one ant whose relatives I had killed. He tried to follow me home to avenge their deaths but lost me quickly because he's just so small. He remembered he has some sweet scent smelling skills so he used them to find where I live and sleep. By the time he found me it was pretty late and I was sleeping, so he climbed up on my forehead and punched me in the face.

Or something else.

-Parker Edwards_

New BLAHGJS forever. It's cool. Relax man.