Monday:

Realized that I need to write more... It's good for me.

Wore orange for that girl that died.

Went to school, teachers were funny then stupid, teachers were stupid, teachers were stupidly gone.

Went to DI to see if that had some pimp glasses (BTW I am OBSESSING about these glasses...They deserve an entry by themselves.)

Went to Jeff's, played with goofy lacrosse fake-ups, talked to Tia B. about stalkers, read on his couch, fell asleep on his couch, (accidentally wrote 'truck' instead of couch), woke up on his couch, went to another couch, fell asleep on that couch, woke up.

Called my Mother about glasses because I really want glasses now that I've witnessed the previously mentioned beauty, went home, went to 'State of Play' with
my Dad, went to El Pollo Loco, came home, showered, got on blogger.

Mmmm....

-Parker Edwards/>

Aww Wha?! Just some realizations and stuff, K?

This morning was incredibly weird but enjoyable.

I woke up, realized I had missed attendance school, realized it didn't matter that I missed attendance school, got dressed, and got online to see what assignments I was missing. I then got onto facebook even though I was already 5 minutes late, chilled on there for a bit, realized I was 15 minutes late, realized I really didn't care and left 5 minutes later.

Upon arriving at school I noticed that there were very few cars in the lot.

Realizing I was crazy early I went into the writing lab like a dork to write this blog.

Fool!

_Parker Llyn Edwards/>

Questions Blog

Okay so here's how the past few hours have gone:

Note: I've decided that I exhaust myself during the day trying to be politically correct and that I don't have to be so here. It's also too late for me to worry about stuff like 'Revising' (Psh...) so none of that will be happening.

I got back from spending some days in logan around 9:30pm and my Grandpa scared the heck out of me again. No expounding will occur here.

I have a speech due tomorrow but established early that I will probably end up doing other things that don't matter and just do it in a hurry in the morning. You can't stop the inevitable, right?

So I was just doing the usual time wasters, watching LOST (Horace made the dumbest remark I've probably heard on that show... or pretty much any show with 'HE SENT THE BURNING CAR INTO THE HOUSE TO MAKE A DISTRACTION SO HE COULD ESCAPE.'...Thank you, Horace.) And doing the whole 'Facebook' shindig and whatnot when I decided that, if I was going to finish up this speech in the morning I should shower now so I don't have to worry about it in the morning. By now it's probably 11:40-12:00. So I take a quick shower and return here to write a letter to my brother but, realizing I had already written him, hopped onto youtube...My fair and faithful friend; you will bring me to my academic end.

I'm not gonna lie, I didn't do the whole "Getting Dressed" thing when I got out of the shower so I was lewd, crude, and totally nude, dude. [Question #1: Am I a bad person for being aux naturelle in my Grandpa's basement?]

Anyways I think it was after that when I watched this video
And thought: "Jam! I could use some sustainance!" It was then that I remembered that my loving Mother had so kindly sent home some Praline Turtle Cake. The totally score part is that my Father, the only person who eats the food I eat, doesn't know that my loving Mother sent this cake back with me seeing as I came back with my brother. [Question #2: Am I a bad person for hiding the cake in the back of the fridge?]

I went to go grab it and remembered a fun little fact which is that one half of a Turtle Praline Cake (From here on referred to as TPC) weighs about 10 pounds. It is ridiculously dense but incredibly delicious. It could probably be used as a freeweight. Anyways I got some of that and got on here to write.

The stupid part is that this entry is almost as long as my speech and that took like 3 hours to write last year. [Question #3: Am I a bad person for using a speech this year that I wrote in 10th grade?]

Sigh...I should sleep.

[Question #4: Am I a bad person if every time I see the word 'Special' I replace it with 'Retarded'?)



_Parker Llyn Edwards/>

Quick note:

Every song I have an emotional connection to is one that I was listening to a while ago. Most of them are by Stars, Pedro the Lion, or Stars. Did I mention STARS? I haven't gained any new ones for ever.

I'm losing my edge.

-/Parker Llyn Edwards/>




I really just love Stars.

GET ONLINE, FOO'!

I think I've forgotten the magic of Logging to the B. I haven't posted since THNKSGVNG?! (Did you like how I hit up some o' dat ABRVTN?)

It's probably due to the fact that I don't ever have time because when I have time I take it up with filler that just shortens the real 'time' I have to do stuff. ...SIGH, It's just the life of a person who doesn't know crack about time management.

In fact, I started a blog a while ago and was finishing it up when a very expected thing unexpectedly interrupted me and mysteriously my progress was deleted. Party.

I hate that I have noticed that I put so many 'I's and 'my's into my blogs I've written.

It's a happy thing that I can realize when I can't sing.

The house I'm living in is STERILE. I haven't seen a single bug or anything.

I need to cut my hair. The neighbors have been telling my grandparents that a girl is going in and out of their house.

I miss England, a bit.

I'm incredibly paranoid about people following me when I'm driving lately. Only after some guy followed me for like 10 mins to calmly yell at me about speeding. YOU DON'T DO CRACK LIKE THAT! He really just followed me like it was nothing, at least flash your brights or something. A person thinks you're just trying to be sneaky.

I shouldn't speed.

I forgot the definition of 'Ubiquitous'.

I still haven't looked up the definition of 'Ubiquitous'.

SIGH.

-/Parker Llyn Edwards/>

Thanksgiving is holidayically ambiguous.

So I was writing this blog and it ended up going in a very cynical direction... You just get the beginning snippet: (Wha? Spell checker didn't cite 'Snippet'? Since when was that a real word!?)

-As Thanksgiving was in full tilt and everyone was having happy fun times I was glancing at the Christmas tree, listening to some Bing Crosby Christmas record, and feeling generally cheery. I then was about to think to myself "Aah, the feeling of Christmas spirit is a nice one." I was just all full of Christmassy goodness when I thought to myself: "Hold a hard minute, It's thanksgiving."
Thanksgiving has identity issues.-

That's all for that one. The rest of the blog was full of satire, commentary, and some pretty good similes but it had to go.

My dog is insane, I saw him over the break. It's like he's my divorce child and I can only see him every four months.

Funniest thing of Thanksgiving; My dad invited two of his work buddies and families to thanksgiving. Both families were foreign, one from India and the other from China. The Indian family included the mothers parents, two very Indian 50+ year olds. My dear brother David introduced a game called 'Amoebas' which he had crafted during the long cold nights of a volunteer orphanage in Russia. The game consisted of this: Two or more groups, one group leaves the room and conceives a scene from history or pretty much anything else to reenact while involving at least some of the rest of the group, the rest of the group has to figure out what the scene is, hilarity ensues.

My group was first and we enacted 'And then there were none'.
The guts of this tangent lie in the retelling of the scene enacted by the group with the 50+ year old Indian man (Keeping in mind his English, although functional, isn't incredible). They decided to reenact the sinking of the titanic. Some people played a meloncholy tune on air violins, one steered the ship, and some were guests.

All of the sudden the man ( ): I can't remember his name) gets wide eyed and shouts with a thick Indian accent: "WE ARE IN TROUBLE!" The ship sank and everyone got it but we laughed for a while.

I should be doing a research paper. "The Evolution of English Government" Seemed like a good topic at the time still is.

That reminds me of a DJ I heard talking about the song: '25 or 6 to 4' which seems to have no meaning. Apparently the song was written about 25 or 26 minutes to 4 o'clock in the morning. The DJ said "This song is about nothing else other than trying to write a song, and for those of you that can think of another meaning..." (I expected him to say 'can call in and tell me') "Well, you're wrong."

It was funny at the time...

I want to see 2001: Space Odyssey again.

-(P)

Humans are elitists.

Why are humans called humans and everything else is called an animal? We're all from the same kingdom; Animal. Humans are animals, but animals are only animals. With this reasoning we can conclude that animals are humans...But wait, That's not true.

Humans are classified in this way:
Kingdom: Animalia (a stupid way of saying animal)
Phylum: Chordata (having a hollow nerve chord)
Subphylum: Vertebrata (having vertebrae)
Class: Mammalia (MAMMALS, FOO')
etc. etc.
all the way to Homo sapien.

But most of the time when were talking about everything else that isn't a plant or a rock or something else inanimate all the classification we get around to is:
Kingom: Animalia.

That's seven steps of specificity that these organisms aren't allotted! Do they not deserve that distinction? Sure we're further along the evolutionary scale than them but that's nothing that you and I did. I know I can't take credit for fingers...Although I did hear Steve down the street took care of toenails for us...

Even the name 'Homo Sapien' means 'Wise'. No one who knew anything special named us that. We're just named that because that's what we think we are. That's really like changing your name to 'Awesome' when you're like 23 because you think you're rad.

...But, alas, what is to be done. I wish someone like Kanye West had worked up this system, then we'd be called something pimp like 'Homie Cappien Gangstarilius'.

-(P)

September 11th, It's what's happening.

So a few days ago was September 11th.

While in school there was no mention to the significance of this day outside of a rogue history teacher who talked about it a bit. Hmm... I though. How completely out of order. SO, after half a day of nothing me and a good friend approached the Starr and said: "WTBH?! This is important. What are you going to do by school end?"
The Starr said,"Well, seckasaa secka secka secka saa. I'll try to talk to some administrators."
I responded:"YOU ARE THE ADMINISTRATOR."
He replied,"Don't talk to me in that tone of voice young man."
To that I punched him in his relatively large stomach and ran.

Nothing was announced for the rest of the day. One of his excuses was that "We mention the victims of 9/11 on veterans day {then, essentially} so then everyone can feel sad about everybody all in one day."

...I'm glad we've learned to be efficient in our dealings with sadness; Don't feel sad for a long time, that's silly. Save up all your mourning grief for one or two days throughout the year so we can keep up productivity or whatever.

Positive humanity is fighting a losing battle.

-(P)

I was punched in the face by an ant.

I woke up this morning to discover a very small wound on my forehead. It wasn't a zit, but was about the size of one. I wondered how this came to be.

The only conclusion I could come to was that I had accidentally stepped on some ants. Witnessing this act was this one ant whose relatives I had killed. He tried to follow me home to avenge their deaths but lost me quickly because he's just so small. He remembered he has some sweet scent smelling skills so he used them to find where I live and sleep. By the time he found me it was pretty late and I was sleeping, so he climbed up on my forehead and punched me in the face.

Or something else.

-Parker Edwards_

New BLAHGJS forever. It's cool. Relax man.

WHAHAPPUHN?!?

So, I was out working on my house being built (Which I do all the time now) and I accidentally cut the wire to the circular saw (with the circular saw) So I had to fix it. My dad runs down to home depot to get some electrical wire so I could fix it, And I waited. He gets back and gives me the stuff, But I couldn't find a pair of scissors, which I needed. So my dad hands me this box cutter, so I'm like "hm" And start cutting cutting cutting to fix this dang wire. Blah blah blah, I'm talking to my dad while trying to fix this wire when all the sudden my hand slips slicing this deep gash in my left middle finger, it went from the left side a little past my nail, and across the last knuckle. So Its bleeding and my parents are blowing gaskets, and I'm just like whatever. I got it in a place where there was a good amount of pressure on it (put my fingertip on the meat of my hand and pushed down my last knuckle (where the gash was) closing the wound, (try it) so it wouldn't bleed.

I'm telling my mom it doesn't even need stitches but my dad insists and my moms not sure because she didn't see it, and says we'll see after we got home and looked at it. The only thing in our car were those little litter bags you put in your car so I put one on my lap to drip on, but it would just slip to the middle forming this big puddle because it was plastic, it was all very cumbersome. Anyways so I've got my finger in that position and I realize "Hmmm, by the placement of this wound on my finga, There could definitely be tendon damage or something. I had my finger so it was flexing past the straight position (You know?) and so I stop pushing on my hand, and it is supposed to return back to the straight or slightly bent position, but it didn't. It just like slowly returned and it slowly responded to my commands to bend. So I'm like "Crud"

So I end up going and we wait for like 4 freaking hours in the ER, During which time my finger decides to cooperate again and would have been fine without stitches, So I'm trying to convince my mom to not make me get them because I could just splint myself and it would be fine, and also stitches suck. But, to no avail.
So we go in there and the doctor puts this "numbing" soap on it which didn't do anything when he stabs me upward of 7 times into the bone of my finger. I've decided that shots in my skinny fingers hurt more than having them anywhere else. ANYWAYS so he sticks me a thousand time and starts threading me up all over but it turns out that the numbing shots didn't numb it all the way, but I just went through it because it was better than one of those dang shots until he asked me if it hurt and I said yeah but to just finish it.

Apparently I have really high metabolism, which I already knew, but I didn't know that affected how you react to novacain? Whatever.

I also didn't wear shoes to school on tuesday, just socks. It was interesting to see peoples reaction to it. Some people flipped, one girl was freaking out and blurted out to one of my teachers, so he turns and says "Well, do your feet stink?" and I say "no." So he shrugs it off and walks away. And Apparently I had people talking about me around the school, which is pretty chill.

-/Parker Llyn Edwards\

These pictures just don't do it the beautiful justice it deserves.

They're making me wear a splint because its right on the joint and will just open back up.

I just realized my fingertip has no feeling in it anymore...cooool.

Mmmm..... This is definitely a lengthy blohg.

AGH Sleep.

Why do I torture myself so? As I'm writing this, most of my body wants to go to bed, but the dumb side of me says no. GOSH DANGIT DUMB SIDE OF ME! I'll probably sleep in like...what...every class again. I remember when I first heard about "sleeping in class" 0: I thought "I'll be cool once I sleep in class!" nope. I sleep in class, still not cool, maybe even less cool.

Some kid (can anyone say pompous?) Woke me up in first period by slamming a fat hand on my desk...Funny? he he... I dont even know this kid. WHAT THE EF? Anyways. Sub-concious says sleep.
a tout a l' huere.

-\Parker Llyn Edwards_

P.S. I love Hot Chip.

I haven't written anything for a long time.

And I'm not sure why...

Little things are ecaping my mind all the time.

Story of my life.

Sumfin new.

I've got a lot of other stuff like this, But I'm not going to put them up. I'll probably start putting other stuffs up when I've got 'em. No title, I'd probably name it "One" If I did though, or maybe "One monkey robot" (Is that what that is?!?) Or maybe "Okay, One order of fingazzz, coming right up."

-/Parker Edwards_

Gasket remover.

Augh, So I'm working on this motorcycle right? And I'm replacing the gaskets using gasket remover (who knew, right?) Anyways so I'm using it and all the sudden my leg starts stinging. So I'm like, "ow" Then I got some on my hands and it literally felt like my hands were on fire, So I'm like (smartly) "Ohhhh....I'll just wait it out, The pain will subside. It didn't. A funny thing I've realized is what people will or wont do simply in the face of laziness or facility. I didn't get up and get gloves for around 10 minutes simply because I was "busy" ?? So finally I get up and put on some rubber gloves (which the stuff just ate through anyways.) If you got it on you it bubbles up and hardens, Then you wash it off and it still "stings" (Understatement of the year) for another 2 minutes. It reminded me a lot of the stuff on AVP That the aliens spit and I'm pretty sure it hurt worse. Anyways, Even after I put on the gloves I would accidentaly get my elbow or something in a pool of it and be running inside to wash it off every 5 minutes. That was cool.

In conclusion, for all you cutters, forget the razor, pick up a can of gasket remover instead!

Another cool thing is that the bike Ive been working on finally started running last night, which is awesome. I had the muffler off so it was so super loud, and all my neighbors go to bed at like 7:00 (Rough and rowdy Richland, baby) I was so tempted to take it out in the middle of the street and full rev it. But I didn't, I probably would have been glad I did, but again, I was too lazy.

-Parker Edwards-

How may I help you?

Wow, my first ever blog... Well not really, I mean I had one before but.. It wasn't really-.... Well I Thought it wasn't.... but-you....Know....Its cool...butwhatever......n'stuff... -ehm....

Last night I was musing to my brother about how last year I was just hearing about DVD's being for the common folk. And now, I haven't even touched a cassette for months. I know its been said thousands of times before, but, Technology is sick. Anyways I hope someone reads this, If not, It's pretty okay.

-Parker Edwards-